Tuesday, April 22, 2008

New Media Fiction-Advertisement

Companions for Professionals

CFP Inc.

Are you a busy professional whose schedule doesn’t permit the time to develop a relationship? Have you tried dating service after dating service only to find the results to be inadequate? Are you a man or woman who knows exactly what you want from a partner? Isn’t it time you tried something different? Isn’t it time you got exactly what you want? CFP strives to provide just that, exactly the partner you want.

At CFP, our goal is to connect, you our clients, to specifically tailored individuals. We will do all the hard work for you. Pick from our extensive inventory of young men and women. CFP can be a simple connection liaison or we can provide in depth training for your potential companion. Basic training regimens ensure your potential companion will be healthy, a trained cook, a competent house keeper, first aid/CPR certified, and respectful at all times. Our state of the art psychological molding process will ensure your mate is loyal and thinks only of new ways to please you. Advanced training options can further specialize your potential mate. Options include, but are not limited to, massage therapy, intimate relations, subtle social flattery, and gardening. Here at CFP we cover all the bases and if there is a little something extra you desire, please do not hesitate to ask. Our training programs are flexible, and will also allow you to design your own program. At CFP we strive to create perfectly tailored mates.

CFP can also provide marriage certificates, paperwork preparation services, and pre-nuptial legal advice. Our specialists will take the stresses out of planning and allow you to enjoy your new found companion. Don’t succumb to the drudgery of planning your special day; allow us to make your special day the perfect day. We have several prestigious packages available, and there is sure to be something that suits you. If none of our preplanned packages appeal, CFP can always customize a package just for you. CFP partners with hundreds of leisure and travel companies worldwide to provide the best service possible. CFP truly is your one stop relationship shop.

Take a minute to fill out our short questionnaire and we will send you pictures of up to 5 individuals that most closely match your answers for free. You can receive pictures of all your potential matches for a small fee. After you choose a companion and make an initial deposit, your companion’s customized training program will begin. Upon completion of the training program, final payment is due and CFP will prepare all applicable paperwork and event planning.

CFP guarantees every companion for the life of that companion. CFP’s return policy is the best in the business and we offer unprecedented flexibility. If you have any gripes or complaints about the quality of the companion received, feel free to contact us and we will make every effort to provide an acceptable replacement.

Life is too short to leave love to chance. Visit CFP and realize how perfect it can be.

Client Testimonials:

Bruce Jacobson: I was skeptical at first, but CFP handled all of my concerns with the utmost professionalism. I have been married for 5 years now, thank you CFP.

Marlane Roberts: Relationships have been hard for me to find, but CFP made it easy. I got exactly the man I wanted, with a little extra to help me through those stressful work weeks. I couldn’t picture being married any other way, thank you CFP.

Diane Curtiz: I was originally drawn to CFP by curiosity, but didn’t believe it could work for me. Now after 10 years of being happily married, I am a believer. Thank you CFP.

Bill Clayton: I have spent a lot of time in the public eye so it is hard for me to find a person who genuinely loves me for me. Even if I find someone who cares, what are the chances they will share my sexual flare. Finding CFP was a blessing. I now have a beautiful, caring, and sexually stimulating partner. Thank you CFP.

Unlike other relationship firms, CFP never uses animatronics. All of our products are 100% natural and 100% guaranteed.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Snapshot Essay #1

I had come out of hiding to examine the man whose death I just witnessed. I stood motionless, barely breathing; staring at the man’s lifeless corpse as blood still flowed from the wound in the back of his neck. I took another step closer, careful to avoid the red liquid that had begun to collect in the crevices of the cobblestone street. I had never seen anyone die before and was shocked to see so much of this man flowing away. Echoes of combat still resonated in my head; and I stood over the man, dazed by the chaos of his death.

I spun around nervously, expecting to see someone standing there. Again I heard the dull thud of a blade, as it found its mark; and the hallow crack that followed, as the man fell limply to the ground. I closed my eyes and tried to shake the sounds from my head. Again I saw the man’s contorted face and the glint steel. My eyes popped open and I found myself unable to move despite the overwhelming desire to flee. The confrontation had left its mark and I could not rid myself of the memory. The scene seemed to play out over and over in my head, always followed by a green flash.

A sharp ache bubbled up in my stomach and pulled me back into reality. All at once, the smells and sounds of the public square returned. I gazed nervously towards the square and began to search the dead man for anything of value. I managed to find the man’s coin purse and dagger, both of which I took without hesitation. I picked up the man’s heavy sword and ran my fingers along its edge, tracing the fresh chinks in its surface. Another flashback replayed. I tried to remain calm and allowed the event to play out in its entirety. My hands moved slowly along the blade as I witnessed each thrust and swing. The detail was staggering. I could see everything that had transpired and always the scene was followed by a green flash. I tried to focus on the flash in an attempt at comprehending its meaning. “Where is it coming from?” I would mumble quietly. The scene would play out the same, the man would fall down dead, the winner would turn him over, followed by the green flash, and the vision would end. My inability to decipher a meaning seemed to indicate something unfinished, and I was left with an overwhelming sense of curiosity. For a moment I forgot about the man lying lifeless at my feet and all I could think about was the color green. It seemed as if the color was alive in its own right. When I return to the moment, it is always the same; I feel bathed in green light, completely comfortable and confident in its projection.

To this day I remain confused as to the significance the color green had in my experience. By returning to the moment many times I have decided that the light was the resonation of an object. The nature of the object is beyond my comprehension, but it must be a relic of intense power.

Snapshot Essay #2

Lawmakers passed a bill today that effectively legalizes all previously illegal narcotics. The “Libertarian Drug Act”, originally drafted in 2009, has taken 11 years to see the light of day. The bill has been met with intense controversy, causing it to falter and delaying its acceptance until now. The bill’s opinionated creator, Bruce Jacobson, has been very vocal throughout the process. “Today, society has taken a huge step towards personal responsibility and accountability,” Mr. Jacobson said at a press conference early this morning. Mr. Jacobson entered the public eye six years ago after an emotional appearance he made on account of this same bill. “I am deeply saddened by the American public's inability or unwillingness to see the good in libertarian regulation.” After this emotional statement Mr. Jacobson redirected lobby efforts in order to educate the general public about the bill’s ramifications. A strategy that paid off immediately, as support for the bill drastically increased soon after.

The bill came up for vote again 3 years ago, but was squashed out of the gate by an idealistic argument made by law enforcement representatives. Rumors abound about this group’s vested interest in the continued regulation of these substances. Numbers support the theory, as this bill cuts law enforcement’s budget by 15%. More insidious conspiracy theorists maintain the idea that certain politicians use the Black Market as an investment opportunity.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Wiki Entry

WoW Wiki Entry

Gameplay:
World of Warcraft maintains an intuitive game environment that provides a very congenial experience for new and veteran gamers alike. The ease of play allows players of all skill levels to become immediately engrossed in the world that is Warcraft, and drastically reduces the traditionally steep learning curve found in MMOGs.

The time to reach max level can vary dramatically depending on the player’s experience. One individual “power-leveled” a character from 1 to 60 in 4 days and 20 hours of played time (www.powerleveling100.com/1-70-Horde-Leveling-WoW). More casual players can expect a leveling time of 20+ days of played time.

Census Data: (new section)
In depth census data can be found at http://www.warcraftrealms.com/census.php
A WoW modification is available that tracks character information across, potentially, every server. This is a unique tool that can provide dynamic population info. Accuracy of the data is dependent upon the distribution of the mod. The more individuals that use the mod and submit data the more accurate the data becomes. Census data only reflects characters "seen" by the mod in the last 30 days.

Census data for level 70 characters April 2008
Total Characters: 2.722 million.
Faction Split: Alliance 1.512mil. (56%); Horde 1.210mil. (44%)
Most popular race is the Human (513k.) followed by the Night Elf (457k) and the Undead hold third (339k).
Most popular class is the Warrior (352k) followed closely by the Hunter (348k) and the Mage class holds third (333k).

Market Info: (new section)
2008 Market Info
World of Warcraft currently holds 62% of the MMOG market at 10 million subscribers. The current subscriber base for all MMOGs is 16 million.
Expansive MMOG market info can be found at www.mmogchart.com

Characters:
Guards can also provide directions to common locations within their city.

Items:
Items improve character effectiveness to such a degree as to make acquisition of these items necessary and highly desirable for progression. World of Warcraft’s item mechanics are very complex and have undergone many changes in an attempt to keep the system balanced. Items play a significant role in the outcome of all confrontations within the game and a character’s effectiveness is directly linked to the quality of gear currently equipped.

Instances:
Instances are level and group specific. An instance is designed around specific level ranges or group setups. Instances are currently (BC-patch 2.4) designed around 5-person groups, 10-person groups and 25-person groups. Instances designed for 25 or more players are referred to as raid instances. In the Burning Crusade (BC) expansion, Blizzard created a heroic difficulty for many of the 5-man instances found in Outland. Heroic difficulty is designed around max level characters.
Generally, to complete an instance, a group must be comprised of players that fill three roles. The “tank” (withstand and hold a direct onslaught), “healer” (heal the damage caused by attacks), and “DPS” (Damage per Second, used in this context refers to a class whose main concern is causing damage).
World of Warcraft currently (BC-patch 2.4) maintains 57 instances. These instances are broken down as follows: (http://www.wowwiki.com/Instances_by_level)

Pre BC 5-man instances-24;
Pre BC raid instances-8;
Post BC-patch 2.4 5-man instances-16;
Post BC-patch 2.4 raid instances-9

Blizzard will be adding twelve new instances with the Wrath of the Lich King expansion, seven new 5-man instances and five raid instances. (http://www.wowwiki.com/Instances_by_level)


Quests: (new section)
Quests are tasks given to PCs by NPCs. The completion of quests provides many different rewards to the player, including reputation, experience, items, and gold. There are a variety of quests available, from single objective tasks to epic multi-step endeavors. Currently (BC-patch 2.4) there are more than 2000 quests in World of Warcraft (http://www.wowrush.com/quests.html ).


WoW TCG/Loot Cards: (new section)
The WoW TCG (Trading Card Game) was released by Upper Deck Entertainment in August 2005. Rare versions of loot cards were made available that provided a scratch-off code. The code could then be redeemed for an item within the online version of the game. These items provide aesthetic upgrades to characters. Many unique items are available and include tabards, pets, mounts, and costumes. Upper Deck Entertainment has released three different loot cards with each TCG expansion pack. A list of loot cards and their effects may be found at www.ude.com/loot.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Wiki Edits

The world of warcraft wiki entry is my chosen candidate for an edit. I will be adding some itemization information as well as an instance listing that will include intended levels and min levels. I will also be adding a twink section that describes what a twink is and some minor characteristics of the culture.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Immortal Confrontation

A conversation of times past between immortals on an infinite plane of confrontation.
The following was recorded by the universal scribe between the Immortals Magus and Traekant.

"You have followed me here foolishly Magus," Traekant sneered, "Your curiosity will be your undoing." "I am not interested in your self indulgent rhetoric Traekant, I am here to exact my revenge," Magus shot back through clenched teeth. "Haha you seem confident for someone so far from home," Traekant began to mock Magus, "how will you ever see your friends again?" "I have only to kill you, Traekant, then the boys and I will do a jig on your lifeless corpse." "I have but to will it and your life will end Magus," Traekat said confidently as he closed the gap between the two, "with a flick of my wrist I shall make you useless to a woman." "You will find that I am not so naive and helpless as I once was" Magus exclaimed as he circled to Traekat's left. Magus unsheathed a small dagger and said, "You will find that I have grown quite a bit since last you left me for dead." Traekat grimaced and retorted "A mistake of morality I do not plan on making again." Traekat began to mumble "Cal et Por Pyre." Magus' eyes opened widely and he shouted "Pyre Prot es." A violent clash of magical energy twisted between Magus and Traekat. "I am dissapointed Magus," Traekat laughed, "I had already started imagining your screams of agony." "I find your sense of humor disturbing Traekat," Magus grunted with genuine surprise, "the disfigurement of your soul is clearly manifested in your face." "Your nerve makes you arrogant Magus" Traekat growled, "you should show respect to those you idolize." "You and I are nothing alike Traekat," Magus yelled obviously shaken "I will never be like you." "On the contrary young Magus, it would take just a nudge to

Monday, February 4, 2008

Tech Today-a statistical observation

Observation was conducted on a Friday afternoon during the hours of 2pm and 4pm. All observed individuals are outdoors and in motion as they travel the sidewalks southeast of the Marriott Library. The total number of individuals in this observation is 309, including 81 individuals part of a group of two or more, 185 solo individuals, and 43 older individuals. Age discrimination is done via guesstimation and requirements were generally superficial. Out of 185 total solo individuals 82(45%) of those were in the process of using a tech device. The cell phone proved to be the most popular device as it was in use by 48 solo individuals(25%). The use of headphones was also prevalent, as it was in use by 34 solo individuals(20%). Headphones were not very common among groups as only three individuals(4%) were observed using them while part of a group. Among the older subjects observed (43) not one of them was using any type of device. Granted the pool of older individuals was much smaller, but the lack of any type of technology among them was surprising. A generational interest for technology may be inferred, although possibly misleading.
A similar observation conducted on a very short bus ride produced similar percentages. Fifteen individuals were observed, of those, five(33%) were in the process of using some type of device.